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Ether Elixir - 100% Juice Kefir

ROCK Farmers Market

$26.00

Ether Elixir - 100% Juice Kefir

ROCK Farmers Market

$26.00

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5 oz Single Serving

Why Ether Elixir?

Ether Elixir is a way to consume LIVE probiotics regularly without the need for expensive supplements that are often no longer alive & therefore ineffective. For real, even the $60 bottles in the elite refrigerated section are often duds. Gasp!

Drinking live probiotics with meals may* aid in digestion by rapidly converting the contents of your stomach into their own food source, allowing them to thrive and proliferate. This means that by the time the food is digested into your small intestines - where a bacterial reset is most important - the number of good bacteria has exponentially increased beyond what you originally consumed.

*PS - I am not a doctor. I have a lame bachelor’s degree from a state college. These statements have not been approved by the FDA. On an unrelated note, ever heard of Google? I double dog dare you to fact check me.

How Much Ether Elixir Should I Drink?

Hold tight while I check out current rates on college tuition . . .I suggest drinking 4—6 oz. with large meals and just a shot with smaller meals. Although, it is totally safe to consume in much larger quantities (just ask my kids!) However, a little goes a long way, and for those of us that aren’t millionaires, a few ounces with meals will give you all the benefits of a healthy dose of probiotics. Please keep in mind, that if you haven’t been regularly consuming probiotics, you may get a grumbly tummy, but roll with it for a few days - it’s just a chemical reaction from the toxins the bad bacteria release when they die off - it should sort itself out (literally) in a few days.

Who Should Drink Ether Elixir?

Everyone! Obviously. But let me break it down for you . . . Moms, because ya’ll are way underappreciated and need all the support that life has to offer.
Dads, because the moms like forcing you to do healthy things you don’t really want to do - but you’ll dig it, trust me. 

Kids, because it’s got bubbles. Done.

Single people, because you’ve totally got it made, and have disposable income to spend on fancy beverages…and let’s face it, you should get super healthy before you become a mom or dad and everything goes downhill. ;)

Those with compromised immune systems, because probiotics are the body’s first line of immune defense, the more the merrier y’all.
Those with digestive complaints, because probiotics totally aid in digestion* in a myriad of ways.

Is Ether Elixir Like Kombucha?

Yeah. Kinda. But better . . . because I made it, and I tend to be a real showoff, and also because it has 16 times the probiotic count than the leading kombucha!

Ether Elixir is actually more similar to dairy milk kefir - due to being infused with controlled strains of beneficial bacteria and yeasts. Just instead of milk, I use juice!

Kombucha is made from fermented tea, added sugar and a big mushroom / alien / fungal / bacterial situation called “the mother” (cringe). It certainly does have a healthy, hippie element to it - but because it isn’t using controlled probiotics, it is incredibly difficult to determine the actual strains of bacteria and yeast that are present.

I’ll admit it’s tasty and I love when the bars around me have it on tap so I can pretend to be one of those cool beer drinking chicks. But, alas, I am not a cool beer drinking chick, I’m a weird, bacteria obsessed vodka & soda (with a lime) chick and kombucha is just not where I choose to source reliable, multi-strain probiotics.

It’s Sweet - Should I Freak Out?

Yes, totally - my life motto has always been “when in doubt, freak the freak out” - so honor that, and then, read this:

Ether Elixir has no added sugar yet is still naturally sweet for several reasons. Stick with me on this one - there are a lot of unstructured sentences coming… First. Dude. It’s 100% juice - so the fact that it’s sweet can’t come as a total shock BUT what may surprise you is that sugar is the preferred food source for all bacteria (oh, and also everyone on earth). So what’s cool is that during production, I add symbiotic strains of good bacteria and yeasts to the juice - which equates to letting kids loose in a candy store, they’re totally happy to gobble up everything in sight! Which is awesome because it means the amount of naturally occurring fructose in the juice is significantly reduced - only about 1/3 of the sugar remains in the finished product. But it doesn’t stop there! Like all things that eat - probiotics excrete! And although it’s no unicorn/rainbow situation, it’s still pretty magical, the waste product (read: POOP!) of the good bacteria is acetic acid which has a naturally sweet & sour taste and then the waste product of the good yeasts is carbon dioxide, making the juice effervescent (read: BUBBLES!) which also lends to a sweeter flavor. Science man. Good stuff. Way better than “math”.

How Long is the Shelf Life?

First, it’s a 5 oz. bottle . . . why are we having this conversation . . . just drink it already. But should it get knocked to the back of the fridge behind some brewskis and half a bottle of ketchup, have no fear! Ether Elixir has a short fermentation cycle and once refrigerated the natural acidity of the product keeps it safe to consume almost indefinitely. However, the flavor and the carbonation level are subject to change over long periods of time due to the fact that it is a living beverage and fermentation continues to occur very slowly even in cold temperatures. Worst case, it sits in there for a few months, and you have yourself a bottle of organic vinegar.
         

HELP! My Ether elixir got lost in my fridge behind some brewskis and half a bottle of ketchup and now tastes and smells like vinegar! What should I do?

  • Woman up and drink it.
  • Use is as a facial astringent. Ever check out the all-natural, organic, probiotic infused facial serums at Whole Foods? Cha-ching! I should really be charging you extra for this . . . Just apply to a clean, dry face as you would with any astringent, I like to leave it a little damp to help my moisturizer spread.
  • Pretend you’re at a slumber party and make a homemade face mask! I like to mix it in with food grade diatomaceous earth (note: food grade, not the same as the pool stuff) until it forms a paste, then apply a thick layer, set it & forget it!
  • Use it to naturally leaven baked goods. That’s right peoples - you can use it in place of vinegar in recipes, or simply add a splash to dough and let sit out, covered overnight & the probiotics will help soften the grains, procreate and excrete gasses that naturally make your breads light & fluffy (and a little tangy!)
  • Dilute with water and use it in your garden or landscaping to boost your soil’s microflora. The ratio will depend on the quality of your dirt and the plants you’re watering with it - try to just play around with the amounts and not get weird about it. Remember a little goes a long way.

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